Suami terbaik

 Engkau lah suami terbaik dalam segala aspek baik dimata ku maupun dimata tuhan 

(simulasi tulisan - HANYA jika aku pergi dengan tiba tiba - maka bacalah tulisan ini) 

Untuk suamiku tersayang,

Jika kau membaca tulisan ini, itu artinya aku tak berhasil mewujudkan impian kita. 
Aku menulis ini tepat di bawah tumpukan selimut tebal yang membungkus tubuhku yang mulai membeku di dinginnya udara malam – kau tahu lah, semacam cara jitu ku di dalam menunda rasa sakit yang selama ini  selalu mendera dan membuat ku menderita  – dan atas hal ini atas inisiatif yang cerdas dan bijaksana dalam pemikiranku, tidak biasanya.. di saat insomnia seperti inilah aku menuliskan sepucuk surat cintaku untuk mu, semoga kau masih sempat untuk membaca nya.

Kuharap tulisan ini tak pernah sampai padamu, tapi jika ya; maka aku ingin kau tahu bahwa bertemu denganmu dan mencintaimu adalah hal terbaik yang pernah terjadi dalam hidupku. 
Ya, ya, aku tahu, klise sekali, huh? 
Tapi selama ini aku tak pernah bertemu seseorang yang begitu berarti bagiku. 
Aku senang dulu aku memutuskan untuk memiliki inisiatif menyambung tali silarturahmi yang telah lama terputus antara engkau dan aku, dan kembali menyapa lewat sapaan maya di jejaring sosial  kepadamu. 

Terimakasih atas segala yang kau berikan untukku. 
Kau membuat semua jadi lebih indah, jauh melampaui kata-kata. 
Kau mengajariku arti mencintai dengan tulus apa adanya..
Aku minta maaf karena aku tak bisa memelukmu erat dan menciumimu sesuai janjiku kepadamu, namun ketahuilah, aku selamanya milikmu – sudah begitu sejak pertama kali kita bertemu.

suamiku,
sesungguhnya.. menikah dengan mu adalah kebahagiaan terbesar dalam hidupku
mencintaimu adalah titian iman yang kudampa sepanjang hayat ku
aku mencintai mu dan menyayangimu setulus dan seikhlas hati takdir ilahi

suamiku,
melayani mu dalam hari-hari ku adalah titah tuhanku padamu
aku ingin melahirkan keturunan yang adil dan cantik darimu

dan suamiku, maafkanlah aku.. jika aku banyak salah kepadamu..

Suamiku..
Mungkin dengan menulis tulisan ini membuatku bersedih, akan tetapi aku tahu ini tak akan ada bandingannya dengan perasaanmu saat membacanya...

Aku senang kau memiliki banyak kawan, dan akupun sangat yakin jika mereka akan membantumu untuk melalui semua ini. 
Aku tahu akan sangat berat bagimu, tapi aku ingin kelak kau bahagia. 
Jangan mengingatku dalam kenangan yang pahit ini, ingatlah aku dalam kenangan indah yang kita lalui bersama. 
Tersenyumlah saat mengingatku karena aku ingin jadi bagian yang indah dalam hidupmu untuk selamanya..

Aku mencintaimu.
Akan selalu dan selamanya.

Istrimu tersayang,

Carella

"You may love the wrong person before, and always cry for the wrong reason. but one things is for sure, mistakes help us to find the right person. and for me, it's you carella.."

-Fajri Fil'ardi

I do believe real love is a gift.

I spent many years trying to find that "real love".

I learned that I needed to love myself first and trust God. 

For me, both those things were something I thought I was already doing. 

 Having gone through the experiences (not website related) that I have, I can honestly say, 

I didn't love myself of trust God. 

When I finally did those two things, I found my soul mate. 

The neatest part? God let me fall in love with her in my old city live, Surabaya. 

I honestly never saw she will coming to my life.

Every time someone asks, "How did you meet your wife?" 

I can't help but smile and think that God couldn't have written our story any better. 

 I truly cannot think of any way it could have been more awestricken. 

That alone makes me believe that yes, real love with another person is a gift that God is looking forward to letting you have - it's looks a like - when He knows that you're ready. 

 It's a great gift, and something I am never going to let go of (because I know it is a special gift).

and my wife's (carella).. is my special gift from god.

i love you carella ♥ 

My dear lovely husband fajri,

I am so sickeningly in love with you!! You make my blood run faster and my heart beat faster.
I am just beside myself. It is the most beautiful feeling in the world.
I feel like I am shaking inside all over.
Oh man, I am just aching for you!! :)

My fajri, how do you do it??
I know I always ask you that. But really, I am just shocked that a man could so precisely be attractive to me in every way that matters.

And I am just in heaven with the way you speak to me.
Thank you for all the many compliments that you give so freely.
They really do mean so much.
You have no idea.
I've never experienced this outpouring of love.

You know why I love you so much?
Because not only are you everything I have ever dreamed of in my most pipe dream fantasies, but you truly appreciate the kind of woman that I want to be.
It means so much to see that we value the same things.
It reminds me of something a very wise woman told me...
She said that in order to recognize something good, you have to know it yourself.
Anyway, I see us recognizing in each other the most important things... and I LOVE IT.
I love it that at this point we both know enough that we know what makes a good man or a good woman. How lucky are we? I feel so, so blessed to be able to choose a companion from this state of life, with my very revived spirit, a new set of eyes, and knowledge of what is important!!
ah... I feel so lucky!

My fajri, you know what I can't stop thinking? I'm married you right now. haha. I don't care if our first Meeting doesn't set off the fireworks we are anticipating. I will give this everything.
Thank you for also being willing to give this some time, if need be!
There is just WAY too much good here.
I just couldn't pass this up quickly... if you will have me, that is.
And, as always, if for whatever reason, it just isn't meant to be..well.. that will be okay!!
I will accept it. I will be OK. And I will still just admire you,  respect you for the man that you are.
No matter what the outcome, I really feel there is a reason that we have come together :)
Already the blessings have been overflowing.
So even if this was just for a few weeks of the brightest, most exhilarating hope in the world, I will not regret one drop of this!!
Overall, I just know that whatever happens will be MEANT to be!!!!
I believe that completely. i just love you.

And fireworks?? Um, I have NEVER had so many fireworks with other guy. Ever.
And it's cause this time I really know what I am attracted to... and I know who I am.. it's just different than any bit of random giddiness I have ever felt in the past.
I just can't wait to be in your presence.

With so very much love.. your wife,

Carella